Cats and Home

Mr. Sir has been extra playful lately. It's so much fun to come home and have him waiting right in front of the door for me! Kory was at my apt the other day when I got off work and he said that when I got out of my car and locked the doors, (when I use the clicker, it honks the horn as the doors lock) Mr. Sir heard the horn and jumped up and went to the front door to sit. Precious! :)

Sir has also apparently decided he is a dog now. He wants to play fetch ALL the time, he loves having his belly scratched and will roll over so you can scratch it and just the other day I promise he was wagging his tail as he waited for me to throw his fetch toy.

He and Kabie still wrestle and fight all the time, but thankfully it's playful now and isn't mean/aggressive like it used to be. There used to be hissing and clawing, but now it just looks like a brother and sister wrestling/pouncing and having a good time. Unfortunately, this means a LOT of cat hair left on my carpet. It does force me to vacuum more often though, so I guess that's a positive thing.

We're in the process of moving Kory's stuff into my apt right now...and have been for the past couple months. It's been great that we've been able to do it a little at a time, since he's only a few apt's away from me. The problem is that we each filled up our 2 bedroom apartments, and now we're trying to combine into just one. We've each been getting rid of a TON of stuff...but it's not enough yet. Of course, it doesn't help that every day we're getting more wedding presents, which is GREAT, but that is just more stuff to try to fit in our limited space. Kory's apartment is our storage shed right now. His living room is full of all the stuff we're getting rid of and most of it will be donated to our youth group rummage sale next month.

I think we should be able to raise a good amount of money for the youth group because we had two of almost everything and now we've got a nicer, newer version of most things so we are getting rid of 2 dining room tables, 2 coffee tables, 1 entertainment center, 1 desk, 3 side-tables, 4 dining room chairs, 1 microwave, 2 toasters and a billion clothes and other small items. We've considered having our own garage sale, but ultimately we decided the money isn't worth the work. Plus, if the youth group doesn't have money for events, we'd end up donating anyhow, so it all works out the same.

The plan is to be completely moved into my apt (and out of Kory's) by the time we leave for the wedding, so we'll come back home to one, clean apartment. Oh, I can't wait to only pay rent for one place! That will be so great!!

On Being Honest

I've been thinking a lot about honesty lately. I do not consider myself to be a REALLY honest person. I wouldn't say I'm a Big Fat Liar either. I think I just keep quiet or don't tell the full truth or skirt around issues...all of which can be dishonest.

Obviously I don't need to say every thought that pops in my head, because sometimes I'm being respectful or loving by keeping quiet. However, I know my heart and I know that I often keep quiet because I want the other person to believe I agree with them.

I think one of the main reasons I (and many females) aren't honest is because we're afraid if we're honest, then we'll be vulnerable and maybe even judged. I really do value other people's honesty, even if they disagree with me, so I wonder why I assume other people will hate me for being honest if I disagree with them. That's a pretty messed up view of the world, right?

I vow to begin appreciating other people's honesty more in the future. I would hate to think other people felt they couldn't be honest with me because of how I might react. Truth: I sometimes have a short fuse and do get upset when other people don't see things the same way I do. "Quick to listen, Mandy. Slow to become angry."

So it's time to fess up to some dishonesty in my life. It's a start. One step at a time. Confession is good for the soul...or so I hear. I don't do it a lot.

When my boss told me she could tell I'd been losing weight and working out, I didn't tell her I haven't worked out in well over 2 months. I didn't tell her I've been eating more junk food than ever. I didn't tell her it was just the dark wash jeans (this was on a Casual Friday) that were sucking me in and making it hard for me to breathe. I thanked her and acted honored that someone would *finally* notice all my hard work.

My co-worker asked me when my wedding date was and as I told her, a customer overheard the conversation. She asked where we were getting married and when I responded, "New Mexico", she said, "Oh I'd love for my daughter to do a destination wedding in Mexico. Though I do hear it's a bit dangerous these days. You be careful." I just said nodded and smiled. I walked away without correcting her because I didn't want to get into explaining it was in NEW Mexico and yes, I know that's very far from here and seems random, but that is where I was raised, etc. Believe me, I have had that conversation A LOT and I just didn't have the energy for it.

Kory asked me if I had ever been to a certain type of event before. I told him I had. He asked when and as I started to explain, I quickly realized I had never been to one, only heard of it. Instead of saying that to him, I tried to make up this story about one time when I was younger and we went to this event and it turned out to be almost just like what he asked me about...and like 4 minutes into the story, he said, "So you've never been. Right?" I couldn't just admit that I was wrong, I tried to cover up for it and even started making up a story to do so. Why? I have no need to impress Kory. He wasn't going to look down on me for never attending said event. It was just silly.

So, there you have it. I can't explain exactly why I acted that way in those situations, but for the most part, it's because I've got in the habit of not being fully honest. I think laziness and the need to impress are part of it, but it's also just a habit. So I'll begin today working hard to be more honest with other people. I just hope no one asks if I like what they're wearing today because I've been known to flat out lie about that :)

Wedding Crushes

So there are a couple weddings I found online that I instantly fell in love with...to the point it became a problem. I  haven't looked at either website in a while, but wanted to share with you all so you could see just the  awesomeness of both these weddings.

The colors are what made me swoon over this first wedding! I'm quite obsessed with yellow and gray these days.

http://rebekahwestover.blogspot.com/2009/08/mallory-josh-mj-wedding.html

I hope my wedding resembles this second one quite a bit. It just looks like it's so laid-back and fun and like everyone is having a great time.


http://ruffledblog.com/missouri-farm-wedding-with-handcrafted-details-and-a-rustic-feel-by-katie-day/
http://ruffledblog.com/missouri-farm-wedding-with-diy-details-by-katie-day/

In less than 6 short weeks, it will be my own wedding we're taking pictures of...hooray!!

Marriage

Obviously I've been thinking about marriage a LOT these days. However, I keep coming back to one frustration with marriage and that is...married couples. Married couples who complain about marriage or joke about the ball and chain or just flat out give the world a negative view on marriage.

For every person who congratulates me and is genuinely excited for me, there is another person who has told me they're sorry or asked if I really want to go through with this or told Kory he's throwing his life away...with me standing right beside him. I get that people are usually joking. The thing is, it's not very funny.

I suppose you never really understand the gravity of a lifetime commitment until you're faced with making that decision. It's big. Like bigger than I ever realized. This is serious business folks. Yes, marriage should be fun and isn't a bore, but when I hear the way married people are talking about marriage, it's no wonder young adults and teens would rather just move in together or avoid marriage at all costs.

Pretty much every comedian talks trash about their marriage. They demean their spouse and make fun of them, while everyone else dies laughing at their expense. This is not just non-Christians we're talking about here. Older married Christian men have warned Kory that he better enjoy this time in his life because he's about to become a modern-day slave to my honey-do list. Is that what we're signing up for?

Now, we have also received many positive comments about marriage and have seen some great couples who still delight in each other. However, I can say that most of those comments come from our friends who have all been married 5 years or less. It would be easy to say, Well of course they're happy, they're still in the honeymoon stage, blah blah blah. I prefer to believe it's because we have a new generation standing up to say my marriage isn't just going to be ok. It's going to be awesome because we're going to work on it and never let it get to a point where we're just married because we're Christians and Christians don't divorce.

Kory and I have set a couple standards for our relationship that we hope will help us and others around us in improving our view of marriage. Number 1, we both committed to always speak positively about marriage. That doesn't mean we won't be realistic and honest that it is hard work and it involves struggles, but we vow to show others that deep commitment brings freedom and love, not burden and obligations. Number 2, we have made a decision that we won't use the D-word in our home. No, not that D-word. We won't say the word "Divorce". I don't just mean we won't ever threaten to divorce each other, but that we won't ever say the word in any context. It's a personal choice that we've made and it's only that. It doesn't mean we think other people shouldn't say it, but we believe for us, it is a topic that is not EVER an option and we don't want to even discuss it in our home. We have noticed that it often becomes commonplace and casual to talk about that subject and we don't want any part of that destruction in our family. I know it might seem extreme to some of you, but we think this is something we are willing to go to extreme lengths to honor and protect our marriage.

I can't end this post without thanking Trey Morgan for his positive example and encouraging words about marriage. I am very grateful for the many ways he promotes healthy marriages and for his example in publicly praising his wife. You don't even have to meet the man for him to be a blessing in your life. Thanks Trey!

Shower Weekend Day 4

Monday I traveled for 16.5 hours and slept for almost all of it! I thought I was finally starting to feel better and was over my sickness. Wrong! My flu turned into a wicked cold which hung around for almost another week! Not cool.

The shower weekend was so fun though and I am so grateful for all the work we got done, memories that were made, and gifts that were given. Speaking of gifts, hauling them 2,000 miles across the country was kind of a chore. Imagine that!

Luckily, my mom and 2nd mom, Diana, spent 3 hours packing our gifts and fitting them into 2 huge suitcases. I brought 100 lbs worth of gifts back and only two were broken. I was quite happy with that! There were only a couple things we wanted to bring back and were unable to, so those will probably be shipped to us.

The cats were in heaven when I got home and unpacked gifts, bubble wrap and tissue paper!

Typing that leads me to think about wedding gifts, which will also have to be shipped to us. Logistically, planning this wedding can sometimes seem like a headache. When the bride and groom are not anywhere near the wedding site or wedding party, it can make things very difficult. I am quite proud to say I don't feel stressed at all these days, even though we've got less than two months to go. There have probably been 2 or 3 days where I had minor freak-outs, but overall, I have just had a lot of fun planning this wedding!

We had our Oregon church shower this Sunday, and it was an afternoon tea at the preacher's wife's tea shop/restaurant, so it was awesome! We'll get our engagement pictures taken in Portland this weekend, so the fun just keeps coming. After that, we need to take a trip to Medford so I can get one of the little diamonds in my ring replaced.

We're also in the process of getting Kory moved out of his apt and into mine, which has to be complete when we leave for the wedding. Otherwise, we'd have to pay another month's rent for his apartment. It will be really nice to come home to a clean, moved-in apartment though and be "settled".

Shower Weekend Day 3

Sunday I was feeling slightly better than the night before...it's amazing what Nyquil and a good night's sleep will do for you! We went to church that morning and then all at lunch at the World Famous La Fonda afterwards.

We went to my parents house for a little bit between lunch and the next shower so we could sort gifts from the night before. We were able to decide which items needed to be returned because they couldn't fit in my suitcase or were too heavy.

Next we headed to my shower from people at my parent's church. Once again, I got a LOT of cool things! However, I spent most of the shower wondering how in the world I would get all of those things back to Oregon, especially the large gifts like a lamp!

The rest of the day was kind of a long blur for me, so I'll skip the details. I did my wedding dress fitting, went to church, ate dinner and watched/tried to help pack my gifts to come back to Oregon. I was feeling really rotten and had a high fever during all of this, so I don't remember a lot of it.

The only thing I planned to do that weekend and didn't get done was a hair trial, but I felt so sick Sunday night I knew I just needed to get in bed. My hair stylist here in Oregon actually did a hair trial for me last week and I watched carefully and took pictures, so I am sure we can recreate it come wedding time.

Shower Weekend Day 2

Saturday was our work day as we spent most of the day working on wedding projects and crafts. When I say "we" worked, I mean my mom and bridesmaids worked while I talked to them, played with Beckham and avoided work in general.

All of the bridesmaids but Julie (who had a baby 1.5 weeks before) got fitted for their b-maid dresses and they looked great! The lady who made them is incredible. We sent her a picture we printed off from David's Bridal's website and she made dresses that are exact replicas...without a pattern...and for 60% less! She's amazing! We'll get Julie fitted a little closer to time for the wedding, but since this lady made 4 dresses in a week, we're not worried at all.

Speaking of Julie and her baby, Grayden, I got to see both of them on Saturday! It was SO wonderful to meet the little guy and get to hold him. I do mean LITTLE...he was only 6 lbs and was precious!

Especially after holding Beckham earlier that day (17 lbs!), Grayden felt light as a feather! I loved getting to see Julie and her brand new baby, brand new house and brand new car. Lots of excitement! What really took me by surprise was the fact that as I went to hug her goodbye, I lost it. I started crying and couldn't get it together.

It just hit me all of a sudden that I live so far away and I won't get to see her baby grow up and just felt sad to be across the country from her! This emotion continued to sneak up on me all night...including during my recipe shower that night. I was also very tired and getting sick by this point, so I think I was just completely wiped out.

My throat was KILLING me during that recipe shower and I knew I was getting the flu. Ugh! Really?? The timing was terrible...but I pressed on! The cool thing about the recipe shower is that people give you a recipe, an ingredient for that recipe, a kitchen utensil and a piece of advice for marriage and for cooking. Unfortunately, you're supposed to read the name of the recipe and the two pieces of advice out loud to everyone at the shower.

It hurt bad enough for me to just talk, but everyone was talking so loudly I was having to shout and my throat hurt so bad I wanted to die. I have never been in that much pain from my throat, but I put on a fake smile and tried to make the best of it. It really was fun to get all those gifts and see friends and family, but my body aches kicked in about this time and I was so emotional, I knew I needed to get to bed soon.

My wonderful b-maids packed all my gifts for me, thankfully. We left the shower to go clean up the room at church we worked in all day. I also got to open our gift cards from our Amarillo gift card shower that was held a few weeks before. We were INCREDIBLY blessed from that shower and got a ton of gift cards! The best part was that they travel easy and we get to pick what we want: win-win!

This is a good time to mention that we have 5 wedding showers, plus a lingerie shower for me! It's overwhelming how many people are loving on us and giving us awesome gifts. Getting married is SO fun! :)