Submission

As a highly opinionated and fairly independent gal growing up, I was always fiercely opposed to the idea of a wife submitting to her husband. I hated the idea that the man was in charge and the wife, by sheer virtue of being female, was supposed to do exactly as he said.

Obviously, that's not exactly how God designed marriage, but that is how I interpreted it, and if I'm being honest, that is how I saw a lot of Christian marriages being played out. I saw wives who had to ask their husbands permission far more than I liked and I saw husbands who decided just how often the wife was allowed to leave the home.

The other day I was listening to a podcast on marriage and the speaker said something about the man being the head of the household. His take on it was that God doesn't say he "should" be the head of the household, he says he IS. Scientists don't sit around discussing if water SHOULD be wet. It just is and they accept it and make all their other decisions and calculations around that fact.

Next he talked about how God is really the Head of the household (Big H) and that means He's the big man in charge. The man is the head of the household (little H) which means he is just held to a higher responsibility regarding the lives/souls of his wife and kids (eww...responsibility? Who wants that? No thanks! I'll gladly give that to the man!)

My final thought on the matter was actually really sweet. I realized that I don't mind submitting to Kory. I trust him and don't worry that he'll take advantage of my vulnerability or boss me around or make me do things his way in the name the position God has given him. I actually love knowing that I can submit to a man who I love and trust fully and completely. I WANT to serve him and do what's best for him. I know he'll do the same for me and I don't have to worry about my needs being met because we're mutually looking out for and taking care of each other.

Maybe God knew what he was talking about after all? How about that!

Life is not a Fairytale

I had a realization this weekend about the huge gap between the way I picture my future and reality. This is especially true when it comes to weddings. When I pictured my wedding and even my showers, I thought I would be in great shape, my nails would be beautiful, I would be excited and happy and having the time of my life.

In reality, I was exhausted, I haven't worked out in far too long, my nails are a real mess, I spent most of the weekend sick and I was so miserable at times I wanted nothing more than to be in bed cuddled under warm blankets.

However, I had amazing friends and family who helped me pack gift and do wedding projects and loved on me, even though I clearly had plenty of germs to share. No one noticed my personal appearance was not identical to the brides in my bridal magazines. I hated that I felt bad this weekend, but I have been reminded over and over it would be much worse if it happened wedding weekend. (I will be taking lots of vitamins and medicines prior to wedding weekend now...I think little sleep and pure exhaustion equals sickness for me.)

I still had an incredible weekend and really enjoyed the time I got to spend with friends and family and future family! I see now that God was teaching me an important lesson about how we can set ourselves up for disappointment by ridiculously high expectations. I am learning to be content, whatever the situation. A wise friend told me she calls it choosing joy. Right now, I am still feeling sick and am waiting in the Phoenix airport for my delayed flight, but I choose to be grateful I have time to read my book and write some thank you notes and eat lunch without being rushed. I feel happier already!

On My Mind

I wonder how many times I saw the words snow, weather and cold on Facebook the past two days?

What is that AWFUL smell coming from my kitchen sink?

I really don't understand why guys like video games SO much.

I want to blog but don't seem to have anything too interesting to share.

Twitter seems to be gaining popularity these days...maybe some of my friends will join?

The "j" key broke off my laptop. That's annoying.

I know I like reading blog posts with pictures. I should include a picture.

I am going here on my honeymooon!

I really wish my apartment had a dishwasher.

That guy and girl on idol that broke up HAVE to get back together. Their duet made me cry.

My friends having babies makes me very happy. The fact that they're 2000 miles away and I have never met the babies does not.

I really hate dressing up.

Why am I sounding so negative? I should work on that.

My snow day in London was so great. Good memories!

My wedding doesn't really seem real to me yet. Maybe when it gets closer?

I really love Oregon. A Whole Lot!

Random things on my mind:

I have probably visited www.etsy.com and www.theknot.com 10,000 times in the past month. It's becoming a HUGE obsession..

This recipe for Oreo Balls is taunting me. Has anyone tried these before? They sound very yummy!

In the middle of my second winter in Oregon now...and I still love rain! I think my 23 1/2 years of living in the desert makes me REALLY appreciate how much moisture we get here.

I got a really warm, huge blue down mummy Marmot sleeping bag for Christmas (that was a lot of adjectives at once! probably not grammatically correct...oh well) so now I really want to go camping and try it out. Kory got a new backpack and we both got solar-powered flashlights, so we need to go try out our new gear soon.

Kory and I are attempting to make his grandmother's famous turkey soup tonight and I'm SO excited! It is delicious :)

We got Toy Story 3 and Inception for Christmas gifts...two VERY different movies, but easily my two favorites from 2010.

Friends, Fall and Fatties

Rachel will be in Myrtle Creek this evening and I'm VERY excited to see her!! I will take off work Friday so we can spend the day on the coast and then we'll head to Portland for the weekend.

It's starting to get dark earlier at night and I know that Fall will be here before I know it. I'm actually pretty excited for Fall weather and football and rain and cool temperatures, but this was SUCH a short summer. It rained until the middle of June, so it feels like summer just barely started and now it's already going to be over soon.

I was telling one of my co-workers about my running plans and she said, "Oh great! If you're running that much you're going to get skinny!" So you're saying I'm currently NOT skinny? Hmm...she's obviously trying to give me a complex.

Brynn made an excellent comment about my last post. I think she is absolutely right that God is present in the details and that it takes lots of little moments to add up to a big moment in life. I think God cares about the details of my life, but I think God is working for His for the good of man and for His glory. I don't think God's concern for the details includes my selfish/materialistic wants and needs. If I pray that I'll win my basketball game and the other team prays they will win, then who does God side with? I think God can certainly give and take away health, injury, talent and many other things that would affect the outcome of the game, but I don't think God is going to move the ball in or out of the hoop based on my prayers/wishes. I think we've made God out to be a genie in a bottle where I can wish/pray for anything I want and He'll give it to me.
I believe God has given us free will and that He allows us to make choices. Certainly He is involved in our life and He cares about the little choices I make each day. Those little choices I make are what determines my character and makes me the person I am today. So, Brynn, I hope I understand what you were saying and if I do, then I absolutely agree with you! I should have made myself more clear in that last post. You gave me a great reminder that God knows the number of hairs on my head and he dresses the lilies of the field. He is not a God too big for our little mundane human lives!

What is God doing?

I believe God can do ANY thing. I believe God can perform miracles. I believe NOTHING is impossible with God. However, I am pondering a few things I've seen recently on Facebook. God is helping people run a mile in 3 minutes, lift more weight than ever before, He stopped time so my friend could get everything finished and get their homework turned in on time...and I just wonder if we are attributing more to God than He is really doing. Do I think he can do all of those things and more? Absolutely.

To my knowledge, He has never allowed me to run at super sonic speeds or held off my sickness so that I could complete a big project at work. Is it because my faith isn't big enough? Am I doubting his power and so I am not seeing these miracles in my life? While I won't say these events definitely aren't happening, I will step out and say I'm skeptical.

I know God cares about my life and my heart and the way I live. I'm not sure God is concerned with how fast I run. Yes, God gave me this body, working legs, my health, and beautiful nature to run in. I am very grateful to Him that I am able to exercise and live a healthy life. I should eat and drink and run and shop and sleep and play and chat to the glory of God. But I don't know that the miracle he will perform in my life is to get me a great parking spot or to save me a size small sweater in the color I've been wanting forever. Perhaps He has bigger plans for my life and He's hoping I'll join him in redeeming lost souls, bringing hope to the hurting, and loving the outcasts of society. Or maybe he's really just worried about my exercise habits :)

Really?!?

For my fellow SNL lovers, I have a few things on my Weekend Update deserving of a "REALLY?!?" segment:

1. Today I got an e-mail for "Wonderful Winter Recipes--Share the Warmth". In July?

2. I saw on FB where a college graduate typed this word: "snuggaling". I know it was not a one-time typo because it  was spelled that way several times.

3. Quote from church this morning: "Lord, may we show the enemies Your love through our soldiers actions." Nothing says love like bombs, tanks and AK47s.

Random Thoughts

I got sunburned a couple weeks ago and my skin is just now peeling. The skin on my arms is coming off in pretty big chunks and while I know it sounds disgusting, it is actually quite cool!

When I was younger, I remember thinking that an office job had to be really easy and I didn't understand how people could be so tired after working in an office all day. For my job at least, I can say that it is mentally and emotionally draining. It's not physical labor or active work, but I still find myself worn out by the end of the day. While I really love my job, I know I wasn't made to spend my life in an office. Anytime I'm away from work (weekends, vacation, etc.) and I find myself outside during the daylight hours, I am so happy to see sunlight and to know what life is like outside these 4 walls. My dream job would be to NOT work. I'm so ready for retirement already!

I always had a hard time remembering which ocean was the Pacific and which was the Atlantic, but now that I live in the Pacific NW, I can finally keep it straight.

Almost every sentence I type ends with an exclamation mark. I just read back through this post and deleted multiple !'s where they weren't really appropriate. I am trying to use them sparingly so they will really show excitement when they are used. I don't think I'm the only person who overuses them, however...my time on social networks proves that most girls use the ! WAY more than necessary.

Although I haven't completely given up on Dr. Pepper, I am definitely drinking less these days. Amazingly, I've found that if I don't buy any, I don't drink any. If all I have to drink is tap water, then I will drink tap water and be satisfied with that for the most part. As with the exclamation points, if I drink them less, I find I enjoy them more when I do have one.

I now have one close friend with a baby and two more friends who are pregnant, so I think it's safe to say I'm in the life stage where all my friends will be having children. That is craziness to me...we surely aren't old enough for that!

Kory will take 18 teens to church camp this next week, so I'll be getting in lots of time with Veronica Mars while they're all gone. Onto Season 2! Rachel will arrive the following week and then my parents after that, so I have a lot to look forward to. I can't wait to show them this beautiful place I get to call home!

Late Night Thoughts

I am laying here on the couch (bed is covered in clean clothes and I am too lazy to put them all away) and I have a thousand thoughts running through my head so I will attempt to type them out here and then hopefully I can get to sleep.

My coworker won't stop talking about her son's wedding and she told me last week it is a potluck. I am trying not to judge but that just screams tacky!

I really really want a more flexible work schedule. I love my job but I HATE the 8-5, no exceptions. I am not made to live my life in an office.

After a year living in Oregon, I feel strangely put of place. I don't feel like this is home, per se, but it is certainly very familiar. I love it here but I just have this strange feeling that I will never truly belong here. That sounds negative and I don't mean for it to...I just think I will always look at this Pacific NW culture from the outside and compare it to NM/TX. I guess I can't expect to feel the same about a place I lived for one year vs. 23 years somewhere else.

Nobody told me how hard it is to make friends as an adult. Most of my college friends are discovering the same thing I am and I think it took most of us by surprise. I just never really thought about it in college and now I see that I may never have friendships that close again. It kind of makes me sad, but it also makes me really appreciate those friendships and makes me want to keep in touch even more.

For the first time in a very long time, I can look back at the past year and say that not much has changed. I have the same job, live in the same apartment, drive the same car, am in the same relationship, etc. I guess this is called settling down and being stable?

Sometimes I feel like my friends who are married and having babies are speeding ahead in life without me. It is like I am left behind as a college student still dating and they are full blown adults and I can never catch up now. I guess one of the true tests of friendship is whether you can remain friends even when you are thousands of miles apart and are in very different life situations and all you have in common is love.

I really miss TX/NM people tonight. Typically I try not to write this stuff down for everyone to see because I want to be a positive and optimistic person. However, I think it is more important to be real and for me to be able to share what is on my heart--good or bad. Lonely is a feeling I never really experienced until after college graduation. It has been hard for me to learn that missing someone or longing to be somewhere else doesn't mean you can't enjoy where you are right now. I love my life here and absolutely feel that I am right where God wants me. There is no better place to be than in the center of His will!

Weekend

It's not even summer and Kory is gone all the time leaving me here alone :( Hopefully we can hang out next weekend!

My apartment is getting out of control dirty/gross. I HAVE to clean it this weekend! I'm obviously not being productive on the computer tonight so hopefully tomorrow I can get a lot done.

Not Great News

Found out at work recently:

1. The new retirement age is 72. UGH!

2. My co-worker in the cubicle next to mine found mice poop on her shelf.

3. Ladies at work want to discuss politics and/or creation, evolution, religion in the lunch room. I just want to eat my lunch and not have these intense discussions on my break time!

4. There is DEFINITELY such a thing as a Mom who is too proud of her children. I didn't know it existed, but it's sickening.

5. People want to open up and tell me private details of their life that I do not want to hear and I need to do a better job of stopping them and telling them I don't want to hear it...or else they just keep going!

New New New

I can't believe Y2K was 10 years ago! Remember when we all thought there would be flying cars by 2010? A lot of big events in my life happened in the 2000's: got my first car, graduated high school, moved away from home, started and graduated college, moved abroad, got my first real job...a lot of growing up happened in the past decade, particularly in the past 5 years!

It is crazy to think about what this next year and decade will hold for me. I'm going to just think about the next year because I can't even begin to comprehend what my life might look like in 10 years. I get very excited by the thought of change and new things happening and exciting events in my life. For some people, I know that stresses them out and they just want things to stay the same. I love thinking about all the fun things that could happen in this next year...especially the ones I won't see coming at all! I would have NEVER guessed one year ago that I'd be living in Oregon right now with this job.

It was a very bittersweet thing to return to Myrtle Creek after Christmas. Before I left, I would tell people at work at church in Oregon that I was going home (to Artesia) for Christmas. Then, in Artesia, people would ask when I was leaving and I would say I was going home (to Oregon) on Monday. I definitely feel at home in Oregon and when I got back to my apartment, I had that relief that comes from being home. It's just a strange feeling to say "my parent's house" or "my parents live in NM". I guess everyone probably goes through this at some point in their life, so now is just my time to work all this out in my mind. Unless something drastic changes, 2010 will be the first time in many years that I lived in the same place for an entire year.

I rarely make New Year's Resolutions. I remember one I made in high school and that was to become ambidextrous. I actually followed through with that one and can eat and write pretty well with my left hand. Obviously, my right hand is still dominant and I use it for most things, but I think my ability to use both hands is at least above average.

I fell down the stairs at work today. Painful, but mostly embarrassing. I was trying to put the water bottle lid on right when I fell, so water went everywhere. I had to immediately go teach a class after that incident, so that was pretty lame. I have been reading Twilight and I feel like just reading about Bella's clumsiness has made me clumsy! I had never read the Twilight books--not against them or anything, just never got around to reading them, so a lady at work brought it to me to read. I really like it but it's definitely different reading the book after seeing the movie. I just picture the movie characters and scenes as I read it, but I don't mind because I HATE the picture I had in my head being ruined when I see the movie.

My job interview is tomorrow--yay! I'm so glad it's finally here. I've been waiting and hoping this day would come since July, so it's great that it finally arrived. Now, if I don't get this position, it will be quite awkward to keep working here with the other person who got the job. I feel really confident though and am planning to just get the job so there won't be a problem :)

Kory and I plan to stay in for New Years Eve and do very little! We're both so exhausted from our travels and crazy pre-Christmas schedules that we're really excited by the idea of watching movies, playing games and laying around on the couch for the Holiday. Mostly, I'm happy we'll be inside where it's warm! I just realized that one year ago I was arriving in London. Wow.

I want to grow a garden.

I recently read an article about how the sales trends of men's underwear is a great indicator of when the recession will end. It was hilarious! This is a legit theory that economists have. There are people tracking these underwear sales to make economic predictions. Just when I think the world we live in can't get any more ridiculous... :)

A couple of my family members/friends are considering making a move to the NW and I'm so excited about the possibility. I love my life here, but having people close to my age to hang out with would most certainly be welcomed.

Anyone who knows me very well will be quite shocked by this next statement. I have been cooking quite a bit lately and I am really enjoying it! Last night, I made California chicken (chicken breast with melted cheese, bacon and avocado on it) and it was quite delicious, if I do say so myself.

I really love staying up late. I am a night owl and I think I always will be. Even if I am tired and have to get up early, I still love being up late. For the first time in many years, I am going to bed semi-early and getting up at 6:30-6:45 each morning. I thought this would help me transition into being more of a morning person and enjoying going to bed early, but I seriously hate it. I think I just feel like I'm missing out on the fun the night has to offer or something. I went to bed at 10:30 last night and was laying in bed seriously wanting to get up, but forcing myself to stay in bed so I could get to sleep. I wonder if I'll ever start enjoying an earlier bed time.

Random Thoughts

I LOVE getting in a hot car. I enjoy AC once I've been in for a little bit and don't like to be miserably hot, but I really do love to be warm, all the time. I rarely use my AC at all, but I might have a really high heating bill come winter time.

I was born in Roswell, NM. People in Oregon think that is hilarious and several have asked if my family is in the alien souvenir business. Summer in Oregon is so much sunnier and warmer than I expected. I am SO happy about that. I thought it would be cold and rainy and cloudy all summer and I would miss out on my beloved time in the sunshine. I have definitely fallen in love with this place and I can't wait to see how things look in the other seasons. I bet Fall and Spring are both beautiful here! I saw a tree yesterday that looked like it was starting to change colors and it got me really excited for the Fall.

We had another training at work yesterday. Once again, it was really good! I am very pleasantly surprised with the quality of training we receive here. The training was Vicarious Trauma and it was teaching us to take care of ourselves so that we aren't traumatized by the upset/hurting/desperate people we deal with each day.

I read a really sad article yesterday about one of the effects of the recession that you don't usually hear about. Apparently there are a lot more bodies of deceased persons going unclaimed because the family or friends can't afford or don't want to pay for the costs involved in a funeral and/or burial. So these bodies are just at the morgue waiting to be claimed. After a certain amount of time, the state pays to have them cremated. It makes me sad that people can't afford to give a lost loved one the dignity of a burial or funeral or anything. I hate that dying has become a financial burden on Americans. I know that you can gain so much closure and begin the healing process after a funeral/memorial service and I can't imagine knowing your parent/spouse/child's body was lying in the morgue and refusing to go claim the body because of the cost. The whole situation just makes me very, very sad.

Be Careful!!!

As I prepare to leave, I have noticed a TON of people telling me to be careful. Now I realize that most of these people are asking me to be a responsible driver and make it there safely. I understand and appreciate that. However, many people say "Be careful over there!" as if living in that state is much more dangerous than this one. It is in America people! I was in WAY more danger walking the streets of London alone.

Why are we so careful? What are we so scared of? A couple days ago I heard a man tell an elderly couple to be careful when they said goodbye to leave the restaurant. Be careful doing what? Walking across the street? Taking your dentures out at night? Why do we live our lives in fear? I am tired of being asked to live a safe life. Now this definitely doesn't mean I am going to be irresponsible or drive like a maniac and put lives at stake. I am making a change however.

I have decided that I am no longer going to ask people to live carefully. When I leave someone, I will tell them "Live adventurously! Be brave! Enjoy live! Carpe diem! Take big risks! Live your life!" Feel free to join me in bidding farewell to a boring, predictable, CAREFUL life! I promise it's more fun this way :)

On a Lighter Note...

I figured we all needed a break from heavy posts, so here are a few fun facts I have learned this week!

1.) According to a study at a Washington Medical Center, duct tape removes warts better than freezing therapy. One theory on why the effectiveness is that the tape irritates the area, which stimulates the immune system. Here it the technique in case you're thinking of trying it: Clean wart, cover with duct tape. Remove after six days and soak wart in warm water. Use pumice or an emery board to rub away soft areas. Leave tape off overnight; reapply the next morning. Repeat until wart is gone--usually about two months.

2.) One more reason you shouldn't smoke: over the course of five years, smokers turn out to develop nearly double the memory decline of nonsmokers. Imagine what is happening to your brain cells if you smoke for 30 years??

3.) Spanish conquistadors discovered that avocado seeds yield a milky fluid that turns red when exposed to air. They used this indelible natural ink in documents that are preserved to this day. 

I am packing like a crazy woman today. I leave for Lubbock tomorrow and will be there for 10 days for Encounter. I love this week! It is always the highlight of my summer! After it is over, I will come home, load up and move to Oregon! Yikes! I am trying to have everything packed and ready when I leave tomorrow so I don't have to worry about anything when I get back to Artesia. 

It seems like I waited so long to find out what my next step was going to be and now it is all happening so fast! I can't wait to hang out with friends and family over the next week and a half. I'll certainly enjoy the time spent with them since it will be a while before I see everyone again. Hope you have a great weekend!

The Privilege of Communion

When did communion become an obligation? I must confess it has been one for me as long as I can remember. I grew up in a small-town, conservative Church of Christ. If we missed Sunday morning worship, it was vital that we make it to Sunday evening services so we could take communion. We HAD to take communion every Sunday; it was our duty. (This blog is not about what communion was intended to be or if our modern communion is really what Jesus had in mind. That is another blog for another day.)

I remember one particular youth retreat my senior year of high school. The youth ministers decided that we would have a midnight service on Saturday night. Instead of waking up Sunday mid-morning for worship, we would do it at 12:00 a.m. and therefore, it would technically still be on Sunday. Several churches had a long drive home and this way, we could just wake up and head home first thing in the morning on Sunday. Now, you would think that I would have been satisfied with this arrangement: communion on Sunday, worship service on Sunday and getting to sleep in a little longer. I was not satisfied at all. In fact, I was very upset. I remember going down front Sunday evening to take communion at church because I did not have communion during regular Sunday morning services. I had a long discussion with my parents about my stern disapproval of what happened that weekend regarding communion. 

I participated in communion 3 times from September 2008 until April 2009. I attended many different churches while in Europe, and only received communion once while there. The other two times were in Artesia while I was home for Christmas.

I will admit the only reason I am sure that we took communion last Sunday is because I noticed they were using a different kind of cracker. These were easily broken into tiny squares. "Where are the Matzos? I love Matzos! Dang it. I hope all churches don't stop using those. They taste so good! I wonder if it would be ok to just buy those in bulk and eat them for a snack? Hmm...I mean, there is nothing actually sacred about the cracker. How would I go about buying some Matzos?" Yes, those were my thoughts during communion on Easter Sunday.

As with many things in life, I didn't appreciate it until it was taken from me. I was really excited to return and have the opportunity to take communion. I promised myself it would be more meaningful than ever before. Two weeks have gone by and I fell right back into the routine of passing the trays and thinking about how much I hate the taste of grape juice.

It is a privilege and an honor to participate in communion. I have been given this privilege hundreds of times in my life. Most times I have failed to recognize the opportunity that lay before me. I can't promise I will never take communion for granted again, but I do know that I will try extra hard this next week to appreciate the opportunity I have to commune with my Savior and fellow Saints.

Wandering Mind

Last night my dad asked why Crystal (a girl I went to high school with) was changing her last name. I couldn't figure out how he knew that until he told me he was reading it in the newspaper. What?!? Clearly I don't spend much time reading the legal notices. I can't believe that divorces and name changes and personal information like that is broadcast publicly. There really is no privacy left in this world!

One of the applications on my iGoogle page is Places to See. I love when one of the places in this big world that it says you need to visit is somewhere I have been before! :)

The only two shows I really watch faithfully are Scrubs and The Office. I have been catching up on the last few episodes today and my mind has been blown!! I am very scared for the future...I don't think I like where things are going. I have a feeling heart-break is on the horizon for me.

I watched a beautiful sunset last night for the first time in a VERY long time. I can't quit looking at the stars each night and admiring the sky in the evenings. The London smog was just not quite as awe-inspiring...

Mom bought some egg nog ice cream bars a while back but I forgot about them and never tried one. She keeps reminding me about them now that I am home so I tried one this afternoon. I was skeptical at first, but I must say they are quite tasty. What a perfect way to get my egg nog fix when it isn't Christmas time!

I have been unpacking and doing laundry the past couple days and let me just tell you--I LOVE using a dryer! The days of drying clothes on a radiator and hanging them around the room are over. Praise God!

Standing in two countries: 1)Vatican City and 2)Italy

Homeless

Well, I am back in Artesia. Normally I would say I am home, but this doesn't feel like home anymore. Nowhere really feels like home right now. I am in a weird place in my life. I felt like I was home in Cork and in London, but I also knew it was temporary. I spent this past weekend in Lubbock, where I lived for 4 years, yet it didn't feel like home. I grew up in Artesia and lived here most of my life, yet my parents' house doesn't feel like my home.

I think I am experiencing reverse culture shock for the first time. After returning from trips abroad, I have usually experienced it in small ways, but obviously this time I have many more adjustments. I think this feeling of "not belonging" is a big part of that. Most of my friends fit into two categories--college students or newly married/working. I do not fit into either of those. Don't get me wrong; I love my life and the category of BUM is pretty great for the time-being. :)

Being in Lubbock was a weird experience for me, especially when Kory and I had to drop something off in the SUB (student union building) on LCU's campus. It was like deja vu for an extended period of time. I was in a place I had spent so much time and yet it was like I knew I didn't belong there and I felt like I was in a dream or something. Coming to Artesia has been much the same--a familiar place, yet I feel like I am not really here. I have to keep reminding myself that this is reality and I am eating dinner with my parents and taking a walk with Mom and this is my life, here and now. This might not make any sense to you but explaining it in words helps me make sense of it all.

If you know me very well, you know I am a very social person and love talking and hanging out and being around people. Well, since coming back to America, I have felt insanely anti-social, which is a pretty weird feeling for me. If I haven't replied to your text messages or called you back or didn't see you in Lubbock, this is why. I feel guilty and I am sorry but I really didn't have much desire to be with people in general--it has nothing to do with you personally. Luckily, I didn't feel this way about Kory. I wanted to be with him all the time and it was so great hanging out with him.

I am sure this will all get better as I settle into life in America and make the necessary adjustments. One thing I am learning is that when most people ask how my time in Europe was, all they really want to hear is "awesome". So, I give them that response and we both go on our merry way. The pace of life is one of the biggest adjustments. Life definitely moves a lot slower here. That adds to the weirdness when I feel like this fuzzy, dream-like state of life is also moving in slow motion.

Happy Day

You know those days where you just wake up excited and feeling good? Maybe you haven't ever had one of those. If so, I'm sorry, you have a terrible life. You should do something about that. Today was definitely one of those days for me! :) I am happy, the sun is shining, I'm living in London and God is good!!

I think I've mentioned it about 40 times already, but I'm going to Joshua Radin's concert tonight and I am just flat giddy with anticipation! I LOVE this guy! Now, this is definitely a musical crush. I don't think he's the best looking man to ever live and honestly I'm not even really that attracted to him. I just love his music and think he's incredibly talented. His songs are SO real. I can't tell you how many times I have felt like one of his songs was my current life anthem. In case you're wondering, right now it's "I'd Rather Be With You" ;) So to prepare myself for the awesomeness of tonight, I have been listening to his music non-stop for the past several days. Today I was watching a clip of him on Ellen and I heard her say his name and I was floored. I have been saying his name wrong all along! I felt so foolish. It is pronounced RAY-den. Not rah-den. Wow, it's like I don't even know this man anymore. I am glad I found this out before I was at his concert though. I have a few hours left to mentally prepare myself to see Joshua Radin, not Joshua Radin.

We are now going on 4 straight days of sunshine in London. I probably shouldn't say anything or I'll jinx it, but I am so excited I can't even contain it! I have to tell the world!! Before this week, I can't even remember 2 days of sunshine in a row. It has literally made me such a happier person. Sunshine is good for the soul. I don't know how people live in Seattle or Alaska or these places that get no sun for months at a time.

Oh my goodness gracious!! I just looked out my window (yes, I have the windows open and the curtains pulled back and it feels AWESOME!) and I saw the tree right in front of our house. I have never noticed it before but it looks JUST like a face on one of the branches. I took a picture so you can see it also. Now that I've noticed it, I can't believe we didn't see it before!

Here are all the branches of our funky looking tree.

Doesn't this look just like a human face?? Crazy! Now look on the
left side of the first picture and you can see it really well.

Wow! That just made my day even better!! :) Isn't God funny? I have come to see little events like this in my life as reminders of the God I serve. He is creative, he is clever, he cares about the little things in life and he is RIGHT HERE with me. If we were to really open our eyes and be watching for the little things God is doing all around us, I wonder what we would see? I bet it would be even more awesome than tree bark!