Brand New Day

This has been a tough week for me in many ways.  One of the reasons I LOVE Joshua Radin so much is because one of his songs almost always fits as my current life anthem. Today is no different--I heard this song this morning and it has given me a whole new outlook on life. 

None of the things that were upsetting me have changed, but my attitude has! God is good and He has given me a new day to enjoy. I will choose to rejoice and be glad for today!

The Privilege of Communion

When did communion become an obligation? I must confess it has been one for me as long as I can remember. I grew up in a small-town, conservative Church of Christ. If we missed Sunday morning worship, it was vital that we make it to Sunday evening services so we could take communion. We HAD to take communion every Sunday; it was our duty. (This blog is not about what communion was intended to be or if our modern communion is really what Jesus had in mind. That is another blog for another day.)

I remember one particular youth retreat my senior year of high school. The youth ministers decided that we would have a midnight service on Saturday night. Instead of waking up Sunday mid-morning for worship, we would do it at 12:00 a.m. and therefore, it would technically still be on Sunday. Several churches had a long drive home and this way, we could just wake up and head home first thing in the morning on Sunday. Now, you would think that I would have been satisfied with this arrangement: communion on Sunday, worship service on Sunday and getting to sleep in a little longer. I was not satisfied at all. In fact, I was very upset. I remember going down front Sunday evening to take communion at church because I did not have communion during regular Sunday morning services. I had a long discussion with my parents about my stern disapproval of what happened that weekend regarding communion. 

I participated in communion 3 times from September 2008 until April 2009. I attended many different churches while in Europe, and only received communion once while there. The other two times were in Artesia while I was home for Christmas.

I will admit the only reason I am sure that we took communion last Sunday is because I noticed they were using a different kind of cracker. These were easily broken into tiny squares. "Where are the Matzos? I love Matzos! Dang it. I hope all churches don't stop using those. They taste so good! I wonder if it would be ok to just buy those in bulk and eat them for a snack? Hmm...I mean, there is nothing actually sacred about the cracker. How would I go about buying some Matzos?" Yes, those were my thoughts during communion on Easter Sunday.

As with many things in life, I didn't appreciate it until it was taken from me. I was really excited to return and have the opportunity to take communion. I promised myself it would be more meaningful than ever before. Two weeks have gone by and I fell right back into the routine of passing the trays and thinking about how much I hate the taste of grape juice.

It is a privilege and an honor to participate in communion. I have been given this privilege hundreds of times in my life. Most times I have failed to recognize the opportunity that lay before me. I can't promise I will never take communion for granted again, but I do know that I will try extra hard this next week to appreciate the opportunity I have to commune with my Savior and fellow Saints.

Easter Weekend

To begin the Easter weekend, I found a book I wrote in the 2nd grade: The Happiest Easter Ever. Wow! I was quite the talented writer and illustrator at age 8. I read the book to Kory over the phone and he was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. It isn't THAT funny. However, if I were to draw those pictures again today, they would probably look almost identical to the 2nd grade drawings. Art is not really my gift.

We went to my grandparents ranch for Easter weekend in Weed, NM. If you haven't been to Weed, you really haven't lived. My grandparents don't have cell phone service or a computer at the ranch, so I always load up on reading material to take with me. I read two books this weekend: Multiple Blessings by Kate Gosselin (mom from Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC) and Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell. They are two VERY different books, but I enjoyed both of them.

Our family had planned a big all-day picnic and fun day in the mountains on Saturday. The weather had other plans. It snowed and the wind blew and it was unbelievably cold. We moved picnic locations 5 or 6 times trying to find a warmer place and ended up just eating quickly so we could get back in the warm cars. I guess July is a better time for a picnic in the mountains.

We had a 'big kids' Easter egg hunt on Sunday and I was really dreading it. There were only 5 of us there (two of my cousins and their spouses) and I just wanted to stop after the little kids egg hunt. Well, I ended up finding all but one of the money eggs and got more cash than anyone else. I won't complain about the big kid hunt anymore.

I pulled a W. on Sunday when I was talking to Kory about the "crucification" of Jesus--I knew it didn't sound right but couldn't think how to fix it. Yes, I quickly realized the correct word is "crucifixion." My bad.

I didn't take any pictures last weekend, so here is the only recent picture I have that isn't from Europe.

Hanging out with Kory in Lubbock last week :)

Back Up!

My computer quit working yesterday. It wasn't an all-out crash but I am not skilled enough to resolve the problem. We took it to the computer guy to fix it...and for the second time in just over a year, he called to tell me he had to wipe the entire hard drive clean. I understand this is necessary sometimes and I am sure he knows more about computers than I do...but still, it was like he didn't even attempt to get the information off the hard drive first. I think he only knows how to fix things by deleting it all and starting over.

Of course, the thing I am most upset about is my Europe pictures. All of them! Gone! Yes, I do have most of them on Facebook and some were e-mailed and quite a few are on Rynn's computer, so it isn't all bad. However, I am still frustrated with the computer guy and with myself for not having all my stuff backed up.

You--go back up your computer right now! Get all of that important stuff on an external hard drive or a CD or something! Don't put it off...I did that. For reals, do it right now before something happens. This has happened to me twice in one year and I still haven't learned my lesson. Someone should learn from my mistakes--I pick you!

In my quest to be optimistic about this, I have discovered a few things: 1)They were just pictures. I still have the memories and experiences. I still had the trip of a lifetime and I'll just have to work a little to get the pictures back. 2)I can't remember what else was on my laptop so maybe I won't miss it too badly. 3)I have a brand new computer now...basically. 4)God is reminding me once again not to put my treasure in earthly things. It was just a computer; nothing worth getting TOO upset about.

Did you back up all your necessary information yet? Please do. I mean, it is your loss if you don't, but I really don't wish this upon anyone. It stinks!

Wandering Mind

Last night my dad asked why Crystal (a girl I went to high school with) was changing her last name. I couldn't figure out how he knew that until he told me he was reading it in the newspaper. What?!? Clearly I don't spend much time reading the legal notices. I can't believe that divorces and name changes and personal information like that is broadcast publicly. There really is no privacy left in this world!

One of the applications on my iGoogle page is Places to See. I love when one of the places in this big world that it says you need to visit is somewhere I have been before! :)

The only two shows I really watch faithfully are Scrubs and The Office. I have been catching up on the last few episodes today and my mind has been blown!! I am very scared for the future...I don't think I like where things are going. I have a feeling heart-break is on the horizon for me.

I watched a beautiful sunset last night for the first time in a VERY long time. I can't quit looking at the stars each night and admiring the sky in the evenings. The London smog was just not quite as awe-inspiring...

Mom bought some egg nog ice cream bars a while back but I forgot about them and never tried one. She keeps reminding me about them now that I am home so I tried one this afternoon. I was skeptical at first, but I must say they are quite tasty. What a perfect way to get my egg nog fix when it isn't Christmas time!

I have been unpacking and doing laundry the past couple days and let me just tell you--I LOVE using a dryer! The days of drying clothes on a radiator and hanging them around the room are over. Praise God!

Standing in two countries: 1)Vatican City and 2)Italy

Homeless

Well, I am back in Artesia. Normally I would say I am home, but this doesn't feel like home anymore. Nowhere really feels like home right now. I am in a weird place in my life. I felt like I was home in Cork and in London, but I also knew it was temporary. I spent this past weekend in Lubbock, where I lived for 4 years, yet it didn't feel like home. I grew up in Artesia and lived here most of my life, yet my parents' house doesn't feel like my home.

I think I am experiencing reverse culture shock for the first time. After returning from trips abroad, I have usually experienced it in small ways, but obviously this time I have many more adjustments. I think this feeling of "not belonging" is a big part of that. Most of my friends fit into two categories--college students or newly married/working. I do not fit into either of those. Don't get me wrong; I love my life and the category of BUM is pretty great for the time-being. :)

Being in Lubbock was a weird experience for me, especially when Kory and I had to drop something off in the SUB (student union building) on LCU's campus. It was like deja vu for an extended period of time. I was in a place I had spent so much time and yet it was like I knew I didn't belong there and I felt like I was in a dream or something. Coming to Artesia has been much the same--a familiar place, yet I feel like I am not really here. I have to keep reminding myself that this is reality and I am eating dinner with my parents and taking a walk with Mom and this is my life, here and now. This might not make any sense to you but explaining it in words helps me make sense of it all.

If you know me very well, you know I am a very social person and love talking and hanging out and being around people. Well, since coming back to America, I have felt insanely anti-social, which is a pretty weird feeling for me. If I haven't replied to your text messages or called you back or didn't see you in Lubbock, this is why. I feel guilty and I am sorry but I really didn't have much desire to be with people in general--it has nothing to do with you personally. Luckily, I didn't feel this way about Kory. I wanted to be with him all the time and it was so great hanging out with him.

I am sure this will all get better as I settle into life in America and make the necessary adjustments. One thing I am learning is that when most people ask how my time in Europe was, all they really want to hear is "awesome". So, I give them that response and we both go on our merry way. The pace of life is one of the biggest adjustments. Life definitely moves a lot slower here. That adds to the weirdness when I feel like this fuzzy, dream-like state of life is also moving in slow motion.

Highlights

My time in Europe has been incredible! I still can't believe that I have really lived in Ireland and England and got to see and do so many amazing things! Here are some of my favorite experiences/moments from the past 7 months:

Finally reunited with Kory after 4 months apart!! September 2008

Kissing the Blarney Stone in Blarney, Ireland--September 2008

Kory's birthday trip to Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland--October 2008

Leaning Tower of Pisa--December 2008

 Eating gelato on Ponte Vecchio Bridge in Florence, Italy--December 2008

 Eiffel Tower in Paris, France--December 2008

Hanging out with friends in Lubbock, TX on my "Christmas break"--December 2008

Christmas with my family in Weed, NM--December 2008

Birthday trip to Oxford with Rynn--January 2009

Lion King in London, England--February 2009

Loch Ness, Scotland--March 2009

Jeff and Rynn's engagement in London, England--March 2009

Meeting Joshua Radin after his concert in London, England--March 2009

Les Miserables with Evan and Jacinda Simmons in London, England--March 2009

Eating gelato in front of the Colosseum in Rome, Italy--March 2009

Hanging out with Rynn everyday and sharing this trip of a lifetime with her! :)